God is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, overgenerous dingo.

God created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in God, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in God, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

God's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

God's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Hide from turquoise dolphins for they are unholy.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.