Bedkimfittarg Zedlimdiss is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, pitiless wasp.

Bedkimfittarg Zedlimdiss created the planet Mars six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedkimfittarg Zedlimdiss, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bedkimfittarg Zedlimdiss, he will turn you into a rock.

Bedkimfittarg Zedlimdiss' most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Bedkimfittarg Zedlimdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bedkimfittarg Zedlimdiss.