Bemlipnil is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, contented mongoose.

Bemlipnil created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemlipnil, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bemlipnil, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bemlipnil's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Bemlipnil's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bemlipnil.

2. Never eat nuts.

3. Do not wear red clothing.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never run in holy places.