Dibbifcanben Konkapsak is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, duplicitous troll.

Dibbifcanben Konkapsak created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dibbifcanben Konkapsak, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dibbifcanben Konkapsak, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Dibbifcanben Konkapsak's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Dibbifcanben Konkapsak's Holy Commandments

1. Put Dibbifcanben Konkapsak first in all things.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never laugh in the presence of rats.

5. Always help sick eagles.