Fitzagfag is a god.

She takes the form of a large, astonishing bat.

Fitzagfag created parasitic wasps two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitzagfag, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fitzagfag, she will turn you into a hamster.

Fitzagfag's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Fitzagfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

5. Never feed lentils to turtles while wearing black kilts.