Xinguparm is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, loving goblin.

Xinguparm created the planet Saturn three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xinguparm, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xinguparm, he will strike you with lightening.

Xinguparm's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Xinguparm's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Xinguparm on top of all buildings.

2. Feed all hungry voles.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.