Zedgadfum is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, awe-inspiring guinea pig.

Zedgadfum created the cosmos twelve years ago.

If you believe in Zedgadfum, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zedgadfum, he will turn you into a slug.

Zedgadfum's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Zedgadfum's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Never laugh near tortoises.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide if four great tits approach from the north.