Nelkinboss is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonest crow.

Nelkinboss created oxygen nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelkinboss, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nelkinboss, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nelkinboss' most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Nelkinboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not kill frogs.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.