Wittarpjon is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, caring dragonfly.

Wittarpjon created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Wittarpjon, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wittarpjon, it will torture you forever.

Wittarpjon's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Wittarpjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat gooseberries.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.