Pogvolbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a small, ill-tempered grasshopper.

Pogvolbeg created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogvolbeg, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pogvolbeg, he will turn you into a hamster.

Pogvolbeg's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Pogvolbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect four lead sculptures of Pogvolbeg on top of important buildings.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never wear indigo shoes.

5. Do not covet oxen.
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