Mitbig is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tiresome mole.

Mitbig created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mitbig, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Mitbig, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Mitbig's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Mitbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of turtles.

2. Do not kill gulls.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always help sick voles.