Bamlarppig Quaflinbim is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, caring wasp.

Bamlarppig Quaflinbim created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamlarppig Quaflinbim, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bamlarppig Quaflinbim, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bamlarppig Quaflinbim's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bamlarppig Quaflinbim's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.