Jiggumtomrigpigpomcepsand is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, duplicitous dugong.

Jiggumtomrigpigpomcepsand created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jiggumtomrigpigpomcepsand, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jiggumtomrigpigpomcepsand, he will make you grow a tail.

Jiggumtomrigpigpomcepsand's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Jiggumtomrigpigpomcepsand's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dolphins.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never wear purple coats.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always treat snails with great respect.
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