Gonstragbif is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, fast centaur.

Gonstragbif created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonstragbif, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gonstragbif, she will turn you into a snail.

Gonstragbif's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Gonstragbif's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Put Gonstragbif first in all things.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Hide if four birds approach from the west.

5. Gonstragbif loves badgers, so they must be respected.