Yamartzog Riplenkab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, benevolent sheep.

Yamartzog Riplenkab created an atom three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamartzog Riplenkab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yamartzog Riplenkab, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Yamartzog Riplenkab's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Yamartzog Riplenkab's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat garlic.

2. Run away from pink frogs, for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always obey Yamartzog Riplenkab's priests.