Bifhithat is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, witless coyote.

Bifhithat created dark matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifhithat, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bifhithat, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bifhithat's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Bifhithat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

3. You must love Bifhithat.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.