Zenpopzag is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witty clam.

Zenpopzag created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenpopzag, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zenpopzag, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Zenpopzag's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Zenpopzag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three tortoises approach from the north.

2. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always look after injured monkeys.

5. Do not listen to music.