Goffaslat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, irritating jellyfish.

Goffaslat created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Goffaslat, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Goffaslat, he will turn you into a mouse.

Goffaslat's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Goffaslat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Put Goffaslat first in all things.