Cubjanyakpid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, self-confident dove.

Cubjanyakpid created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubjanyakpid, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cubjanyakpid, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cubjanyakpid's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Cubjanyakpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never talk about otters.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never paint your legs mauve.