Cabnanster is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, irritating shrew.

Cabnanster created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabnanster, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cabnanster, it will remove you from existence.

Cabnanster's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Cabnanster's Holy Commandments

1. Cabnanster loves otters, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not kill dolphins.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.