Tonkgovkon is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-knowing faun.

Tonkgovkon created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkgovkon, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonkgovkon, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tonkgovkon's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Tonkgovkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.