Cipzimtettisabgud is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, bad-tempered lobster.

Cipzimtettisabgud created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipzimtettisabgud, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cipzimtettisabgud, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cipzimtettisabgud's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Cipzimtettisabgud's Holy Commandments

1. Always help swans.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Never think about cell theory.