Jamjarntin is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, uncaring bee.

Jamjarntin created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamjarntin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jamjarntin, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Jamjarntin's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Jamjarntin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always help sick dogs.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

5. Do not stand on grass.