Quafteenwapcemsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, deceitful dove.

Quafteenwapcemsaw created the planet Venus three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafteenwapcemsaw, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quafteenwapcemsaw, he will send minions to preach to you.

Quafteenwapcemsaw's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Quafteenwapcemsaw's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Quafteenwapcemsaw three times a day.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Put Quafteenwapcemsaw first in all things.