Watyimcuss Shavfas is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, almighty swallow.

Watyimcuss Shavfas created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Watyimcuss Shavfas, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Watyimcuss Shavfas, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Watyimcuss Shavfas' most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Watyimcuss Shavfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Run away if eight frogs approach from the east.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Do not drink alcohol.