Cabmumfut is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, sapient crab.

Cabmumfut created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Cabmumfut, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cabmumfut, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Cabmumfut's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Cabmumfut's Holy Commandments

1. Put Cabmumfut first in all things.

2. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. You must love Cabmumfut.

5. Retreat if four grasshopers approach from the south.