Cadnan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, loving faun.

Cadnan created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Cadnan, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cadnan, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cadnan's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Cadnan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick monkeys.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Cadnan on top of all buildings.

5. Cadnan loves otters, so they must be respected.