Jatcedcid is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, bad-tempered hydra.

Jatcedcid created energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatcedcid, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jatcedcid, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jatcedcid's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Jatcedcid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Jatcedcid loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.