Dogril is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, amazing bear.

Dogril created bats seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dogril, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dogril, she will jump up and down on your head.

Dogril's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Dogril's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Run away from violet pigs, for they are unholy.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. You must love Dogril.

5. Do not trade with those who eat apples.