Yarvegdid Gessquamlak is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, clever naga.

Yarvegdid Gessquamlak created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarvegdid Gessquamlak, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yarvegdid Gessquamlak, she will boil you in a big pot.

Yarvegdid Gessquamlak's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Yarvegdid Gessquamlak's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bananas.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarvegdid Gessquamlak.

3. Hide from mauve rats for they are unholy.

4. Never hurt sharks.

5. Do not commit murder.