Flatzedraw is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, dishonourable hamster.

Flatzedraw created an electron six million years ago.

If you believe in Flatzedraw, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flatzedraw, she will laugh at you.

Flatzedraw's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Flatzedraw's Holy Commandments

1. Always help horses in need.

2. You must love Flatzedraw.

3. Always wear white.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flatzedraw.