Rakcimril Tonkmutfob is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omniscient coyote.

Rakcimril Tonkmutfob created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakcimril Tonkmutfob, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Rakcimril Tonkmutfob, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Rakcimril Tonkmutfob's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Rakcimril Tonkmutfob's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange mice for they are unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Rakcimril Tonkmutfob.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Put Rakcimril Tonkmutfob first in all things.

5. Always help tapirs in need.