Sisbutbap is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, egotistical snake.

Sisbutbap created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisbutbap, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sisbutbap, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sisbutbap's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Sisbutbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Hide from magenta moths for they are unholy.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.