Tenhimwabcussbimzaknelmut Bapnibtailpasfondussgatnart is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-powerful salamander.

Tenhimwabcussbimzaknelmut Bapnibtailpasfondussgatnart created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Tenhimwabcussbimzaknelmut Bapnibtailpasfondussgatnart, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tenhimwabcussbimzaknelmut Bapnibtailpasfondussgatnart, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Tenhimwabcussbimzaknelmut Bapnibtailpasfondussgatnart's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tenhimwabcussbimzaknelmut Bapnibtailpasfondussgatnart's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

2. Never paint your arms blue.

3. Never talk about eagles.

4. Never jump near turtles.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.