Arfvanfet is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, kind donkey.

Arfvanfet created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Arfvanfet, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Arfvanfet, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Arfvanfet's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Arfvanfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gulls.

2. You must pray to Arfvanfet nine times a day.

3. Do not take Arfvanfet's name in vain.

4. Erect four tin sculptures of Arfvanfet on top of important buildings.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.