Venbastfar is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, egotistical giraffe.

Venbastfar created dark energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Venbastfar, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Venbastfar, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Venbastfar's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Venbastfar's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not take Venbastfar's name in vain.

5. Erect nine zinc sculptures of Venbastfar on top of important buildings.