Bassflapcep is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, ill-tempered dove.

Bassflapcep created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassflapcep, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bassflapcep, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bassflapcep's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bassflapcep's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never wear cyan hats.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not hurt porpoises.