Queegquatrat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, caring shrew.

Queegquatrat created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Queegquatrat, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Queegquatrat, he will turn you into a dog.

Queegquatrat's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Queegquatrat's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Queegquatrat.

2. Never feed lentils to mice while wearing cyan shorts.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never look at galaxies.