Veenpodwonlibzanvegsid is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, selfish turtle.

Veenpodwonlibzanvegsid created water eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenpodwonlibzanvegsid, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Veenpodwonlibzanvegsid, she will jump up and down on your head.

Veenpodwonlibzanvegsid's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Veenpodwonlibzanvegsid's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always help sick capybaras.

5. Never pour water over plants.