Jatgat is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, effective hippopotamus.

Jatgat created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatgat, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jatgat, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Jatgat's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Jatgat's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never mention bats.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Jatgat.