Yarartmig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unthoughtful raven.

Yarartmig created silver three million years ago.

If you believe in Yarartmig, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Yarartmig, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Yarartmig's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Yarartmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not eat lentils.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.