Haslanarm is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, effective swallow.

Haslanarm created a Higgs boson two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Haslanarm, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Haslanarm, she will turn you into a plant.

Haslanarm's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Haslanarm's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always help sick great tits.

3. You must pray to Haslanarm five times a day.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.