Bontofnul is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, thoughtless horse.

Bontofnul created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bontofnul, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bontofnul, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bontofnul's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Bontofnul's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bananas.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Worship no other gods but Bontofnul.

5. Never hurt manatees.