Tamneg is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, emotional chinchilla.

Tamneg created water nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamneg, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tamneg, she will turn you into a tree.

Tamneg's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tamneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. You must never eat aubergines.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Never think ill of sick foxes.

5. Do not eat peanuts.