Lakgemdag is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, dishonourable chinchilla.

Lakgemdag created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakgemdag, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lakgemdag, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Lakgemdag's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Lakgemdag's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Hide from violet otters for they are unholy.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Hide if nine gulls approach from the east.

5. You must pray to Lakgemdag seven times a day.