Doggigwadnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, witty alligator.

Doggigwadnurt created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Doggigwadnurt, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Doggigwadnurt, he will torture you forever.

Doggigwadnurt's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Doggigwadnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always help mites.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never sit in holy places.