Pakfomstan is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, humorless guinea pig.

Pakfomstan created the Andromeda Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakfomstan, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pakfomstan, he will destroy your home planet.

Pakfomstan's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Pakfomstan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cherries.

2. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.