Santonhim is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, capable lion.

Santonhim created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Santonhim, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Santonhim, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Santonhim's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Santonhim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not take Santonhim's name in vain.

5. Do not kill ants.