Dotkabtun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-knowing narwhal.

Dotkabtun created the Tadpole Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dotkabtun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dotkabtun, he will turn you into a dog.

Dotkabtun's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Dotkabtun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Dotkabtun loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

3. Do not take Dotkabtun's name in vain.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.