Gumkenjop is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, benevolent wyvern.

Gumkenjop created the planet Mars three million years ago.

If you believe in Gumkenjop, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gumkenjop, she will cry a lot.

Gumkenjop's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Gumkenjop's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about comets.